The Great Pause: Part 3

A happy accident and things I’m still learning about pausing (part 3 hundred?)

Just like that, I’m back on this revolutionary road to pausing and slowing down, once more. It seems to be my way - the human way - that we learn the same things over and over until they become quieter and have less of a hold, less of a draw. This slow down is a work in progress. You can read my best of intentions in Part 1 or Part 2. And I cannot guarantee that Part 3 below will be the end of the story. It seems like many of us are constantly refining our mastery around slowing the hustle energy. What a process….

image by Brit Kwasney Photography at Cedarwood Cove Tofino

We were in a minor car accident two weeks ago. Massive teachings about the pause, how to do it and why it’s needed were part of the aftermath. The damage to our car and bodies was thankfully insignificant. But still, a surprise or an accident can be an effective messenger. Old chronic aches came back. Tension around safety. Gratitude for health. A deeper investigation into slowness. Successes that I had skipped over, bouncing to the next thing. Running before I was ready. Re-examining what readiness even is, and what qualified truly means.

Just like that, slowness needs to be honoured, again and always. Since October when The Great Pause began, I was mistakenly associating slowness with measurable movement. I was focusing on the superficial. I thought - pause for a couple months, perfect solution! My Great Pause (and refocused goals) seemed complete around the New Year, so I rewarded myself by coming back in a full sprint. Because, let’s face it - pausing is tough. I’m no expert. I’ll always be the first to admit that I’m a student first. Sharing only what I practice.

The less I am ‘doing’ and the more I practice just ‘being’, I see that my personal brand of rushing bubbles way way down inside. My busyness hijacks my emotions, reactions, comparisons, perfectionism, racing through plans. Even though I meditate, do all kinds of breathwork and may appear slow on the outside (sometimes), the inner pause is elusive. Staying busy, staring at screens and planning ahead is familiar and comfy. I thought I knew but am still learning how deeply these patterns are rooted.

So just like that, with a happy accident, I’m here pausing. Again. In this frustrating learning space. I won’t try to be the best. I’ll rely on my tools of celebrating past and present wins, giving busy voices the attention they need, walking slowly in the forest and knowing this is good for my wellbeing. It may not be a popular, glamorous or measurable journey but the pause keeps me here. Just like that, I am here.

Why pausing is so uncomfortable and so healing

If a pause feels hard, and it will, it’s because the world will not be pausing with you.

But just like that, a pause will reveal where you have been rushing. It will amplify where you’ve been saying yes, but should have been saying no. It will show you how you’ve been overcompensating for things that are not your responsibility. However frenetic the information, it needs attention.

If it seems like you have to fight against yourself and many other factors for a pause, the battle will subside.

A pause will highlight the way you try to control moments and outcomes that are on their own trajectory. The pause will also reveal that you’ve already done enough to set things in motion, that you’ve created plans, ideas, outlines and they’re working. Things are moving and will not be undone in a pause.

A pause will provide insight into our attachment to comparison and external validation. Getting caught up in competition is not your fault. We have created an unsafe foundation built upon ‘prettier than’, ‘worthier than’, ‘more successful than’. Pausing more and unearthing a caring conversation with this fear-based overdrive is the antidote.

In the pause you’ll discover the narratives that prevent you from resting and the truths that return you home to rest. Just like that, you’ll exhale knowing that a pause is not at all easy to take. But it’s absolutely vital for wellbeing to do so. You’ll exhale again, sighing out old beliefs and feeling more like you. You’ll feel like pausing more frequently, in time.

Within a pause, you’ll also hear a whisper to ‘celebrate!’ because it’s okay to - it’s practically vital to. It’ll connect you to the goodness of the pause, in a world that shames it. You’re listening and giving to yourself. Yay! Now keep some ‘pat yourself on the back’ energy in your pocket for the next time you need to slow down or turn around. Wins can be created in any moment.

Take a minute. Take 20. Ask, demand, step away, lie down, do something completely different and take what you deserve. Not because you deserve it but because it’s a basic act of self-preservation.

—this time I’m really doing it

How I am slowing down