The Freedom of Forgiveness
learning to return to the heart, embrace possibility & simply be
Recently, I shared one of the most powerful tools I’ve used to navigate the difficult practice of forgiveness with someone. Forgiveness, for me, has been a long journey. I’m proud to be where I am with it and with this person. Although it’s still elusive at times—ultimately forgiveness has given me a freedom and spaciousness of heart and mind I never knew was possible.
You can read or listen to that piece here.
Today, though, I’m sharing the more poetic version of that reflection (scroll down to the section in italics for it). Writing in prose is cathartic for me, though I know it’s not a catchy how-to list that will please the algorithm. Honestly, I’m tired of trying to keep up. It’s too hard selling every aspect of my human experience. The type of care we need can’t be sold anyway.
Most of us are starved for a softer nourishment—whether that’s time in nature, with loved ones, resting, or simply away from screens. We’re consumed by unworthiness and shame, letting those smaller parts of ourselves dictate the course of our lives.
Instead of offering another step-by-step guide list, I want to share my heart, with the hope that it might spark a small ripple of change in others too.
I want to take accountability for my past actions, but without being burdened by them. I want to just be—more. Forgiveness has been key in letting my smaller self believe that this kind of gentle presence is not only okay, but good and perfect. Just being - rather than producing, consuming and conquering - is a fundamental part of human existence.
“Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.”
— Martin Luther King Jr.
I’m done with rigid protocols, bound by hard edges and strict timelines. Healing, whether global or personal, requires different approaches depending on the situation—and the baggage we carry. We tend to push through and struggle against ancestral conditioning, all the while unaware that forgiveness must be part of the equation.
If there’s to be any kind of common ground or understanding in these turbulent times, maybe it’s through the deep work of forgiveness that we’ll grow. Perhaps, forgiving ourselves into softer beings is a portal into the light we seek.
“How can I possibly let go of the pain caused by someone else?” you might ask.
I’ve got ideas, I’ve got how-to’s, I’ve got information. It’s all out there for you to explore. Of course helping others grow their understanding about the journey they need to take is one of my passions. Asking and working hard is part of the journey. And so is simply resting in the heart space. All I want to offer today is my heart—and the reminder that freedom is possible. Because, truly, anything is.
for·give /fərˈɡiv/ verb
What I’d like to say about forgiveness is that we all seem to be working on it yet also want to be done with it.
I’d like to say that forgiveness will one day feel like freedom.
I’m learning that only I can give myself the freedom to feel whatever I seek.
I’m learning that the extent to which I can dance with forgiveness is informed by how gentle I can be with myself.
I’m learning that forgiveness doesn’t mean an acceptance of behaviour or of the past, but is an invitation to deepen compassion for everyone who played a part in it — including me.
I’m learning that forgiveness isn’t an overnight realization (none of the good things ever are).
I’m learning that forgiveness is not a ‘letting go’ but a ‘learning to’ kind of process.
I’m learning that the more I strengthen my boundaries and my physical body, the softer I feel towards whatever needs forgiveness.
I’m learning that there is lots of time to deepen into the grace of forgiveness.
Sometimes forgiveness is a sacrifice.
Sometimes forgiving implies walking away from a relationship.
Sometimes forgiving means loving from a distance.
Sometimes forgiving means my position will never be understood.
Sometimes forgiving won’t protect me from more mistakes nor from pain returning.
Sometimes forgiving takes the dynamic in a new direction, with growing pains and grieving pains. And new love.
If I want freedom, I have to unburden myself.
To for-give is to give something away.
My expectations.
My conditioning.
My defensiveness.
My armour.
Give it all away until what remains is the softest version of me.
And the strongest.
For. Give.
Taking nothing.
Becoming everything I already am.
For all the things I know, more forgiveness is possible.
I’m committed. I’m claiming it.
The freedom to let it all be. To begin again.
Anything is possible.
For You
An invitation to rest - Nighttime Release Meditation - 11 minutes to bring you into a slower state
An Intentional Getaway
Summer Yoga Retreat: Aug 20-22nd, 2025 on Bowen Island BC - info here
Mexico Reset Retreat: Nov 13-18th, 2025 at La Joya in Sayulita Mexico - details here
La Pause - A Retreat in the South of France: May 25-30th, 2026 near Bordeaux - learn more here